Dim Outlooks
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: Let me tell you a story, Montana. Dedicated for 911.


**Dim Outlooks**

**By Dimgwrthien**

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI:NY or affiliates._

The sun rose over New York City, and all was quiet for just a few minutes. It was a late sunrise, closing in on six or seven in the morning, pushed by the ghosts of the day. People rose around the city, carried on with their days. Some only spent a moment realizing the date on the calendar. Those were the people who stopped for a moment as they stirred the sugar into their coffee. A few didn't even take that moment, tried to carry on with their day.

And then there were the few who woke up in the morning with an ache in their mind that told them of the exact day. Told them about the one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-six days since the incident. It took all of their willpower to get out of their beds, realize how many people were gone, look at the horizon and see the change again.

Mac Taylor sat in his office with an untouched mug of coffee and a mood that screamed 'Don't approach'. He hadn't looked at anyone's face in the office, wasn't quite sure of who was gone, and didn't even notice the looks he had gotten so far.

Smiling to herself, trying to keep a good attitude, Lindsay approached Mac's office. She had bad news to bring to Mac, who was working a case with her, but it never helped to let him know before she even opened her mouth. As she came near his office, though, a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Wha-?" Lindsay asked, glancing back to see Danny grabbing her. Danny gave her a brief look and led her away. "I need to talk to Mac -"

"Don't." Danny finally stopped and turned Lindsay toward him once they were down the hall. Lindsay blinked at him curiously, trying to understand why he was reacting so strangely. "Let me tell you a story, Montana."

Lindsay nodded, still confused.

"Three years ago, I was working on a case with Mac. Wasn't a big case, but he wanted the solve it. Seemed important to him. I had tried to go to sleep that night, thought I came up with the perfect explanation for it, the whole run, right? So, the next day, I went into the lab to tell him about it. I said -"

"I'm sure it's a great story, but I need to tell Mac about this," Lindsay said, trying to move. Danny tightened his grip on her shoulder.

"I went in and told him that I thought I had figured out what the man had done to kill our victim. Mac just gave me this look. Have you seen that look yet?"

She shook her head.

Danny continued. "Stella found me after I gave up with Mac and told me not to try giving him any kind of news today. So don't even try it now."

"Danny, I'm sure I can -"

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "I'm just trying to save you from getting one of those looks."

Lindsay sighed, pushed his arm off her shoulder, and continued walked towards Mac's office. Danny crossed his arms and waited.

Once she reached Mac's door again, she knocked. Mac didn't look up. She knocked again, then entered. He still didn't look up from the papers he was reading. Lindsay watched him for a moment, trying to understand whether he was ignoring her or if he actually didn't notice that she was there. He looked concentrated on the paper, one hand against his forehead, the other curled around the top of the paper.

"Mac?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

He looked up, confused, trying to find the source of the voice before he noticed her. He still didn't say a word to her.

"I got the results. No matches to the fingerprints or the sperm."

Mac nodded slowly. Lindsay shifted awkwardly, not sure whether she should leave or stay. "I guess we're back to square one," she mumbled, starting to wring her hands.

He nodded once more. His face was carefully blank. Lindsay bit her lip and didn't answer back. Mac looked back down at his papers. She nodded once, then turned and left his office.

Danny stood a few feet away from the door, his arms still crossed. "He talk to you?"

Lindsay looked away. "Alright. You were right. Shouldn't have spoken to him. What's going on?"

Danny didn't answer but only looked over Lindsay's shoulder. Lindsay turned, seeing that Stella was walking towards them. She glanced at Mac's office but didn't stop.

"Is he doing it again?" she asked. Danny nodded. Stella gave him a nod in return, handing him a folder, and turning around. Lindsay watched her as she entered Mac's office, approaching his desk slowly. She couldn't hear a word through the glass, but could only watch them.

"He -" Danny started, but Lindsay hissed at him to shut up. She could only bring herself to watch Stella for a moment. She seemed to be talking, waiting. Mac finally looked up at her, his face still carefully blank. She continued to speak, apparently not giving him a chance to say anything. Mac listened carefully. Stella leaned against his desk after a while, bending her head to be close to the same level as him. After a few more minutes of talking, Mac stood up and followed Stella out the door. They left the building without looking at Danny or Lindsay.

Lindsay turned back to Danny, who looked through the file Stella had given him. "You do know that Mac had a wife, right?"

She shook her head. It made sense, even if it wasn't something she would have thought about. It was something that she had always passed off, much like Hawkes' favorite color of Danny's address.

"I only saw her a few times." Danny shrugged. "Nice lady. Every once in a while, she'd stop by and pick Mac up or somethin'. Five years ago, she died when the Towers went down."

Lindsay looked out one of the windows near the break room that she could only barely see from where she stood. She had never seen the Towers in person, though she had seen hundreds of pictures and news reports on them. The incident hadn't really affected her back in Montana, when she could watch the papers and television and think _I'm safer than someone else in the world._ It suddenly seemed a world closer.

"Every single year, he does that. Haven't noticed it, have you?" When Lindsay shook her head, she expected some sort of smirk out of Danny, a gloating remark that he did know more about Mac than she did. His expression was somber and almost blank. "And every year, we just wait for Stella. She knows how to deal with him better than the rest of us."

"What's she doing?"

Danny shrugged. "Have a few ideas, but don't know for sure. If you found out, you'd probably be a hero in the lab. We've all been wondering for…" He puffed up his cheeks and blew out as he thought. "Four years, I guess it is now. Neither ever talk about it after today."

Lindsay looked out the door again, trying to think of where they would have gone. No matter what she thought, though, her mind still raced back to the cause. Mac had been married? She died? Nothing seemed to really connect in her head, no matter how hard she tried.

"Like I had been saying," Danny interrupted, causing Lindsay to focus on him, "if you want to tell something to Mac, I suggest you wait until tomorrow."

She nodded, said bye to Danny, and started to walk away. Once she reached the door to Mac's office, she paused, then found herself entering it. His desk was clean, and she could tell that he had made an effort to straighten the papers before leaving with Stella. Near the computer, inside the printer, sat a stack of papers. Lindsay grabbed one of them as well as a discarded pen and wrote. Once she finished, she left it on the desk and went on her way.

No results on the fingerprints or sperm. Should we look back at the scene?

I'm sorry about today. Always look on the bright side of things, even when it's dim, right?

- Lindsay


End file.
